do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
