I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
