you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
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