alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
