I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
