worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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