i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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