i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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