This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
