Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
bring money and cleavage
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
