Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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