It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
