You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
