Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
