He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
