It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
