Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
