shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
