That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
