I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
