I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
