i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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