I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
