If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
