And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
