I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
