google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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