Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
