i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
