he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
