i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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