drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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