That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
