please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
