He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I licked your asshole in confidence.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
