So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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