I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
