also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
