omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
