Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
