Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
