yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
