Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
