your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
