We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
