Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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