thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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