real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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