I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think I am morally bankrupt
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
