Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
